Yakulturization 101

Back in the days when it was either the Magnolia guy that you and most of us were waiting for to pass by outside the street or roadside on a weekend or the Yakult lady dressed up with a blue cap and dragging the stroller filled with Yakult packs in 5 that you would run to your mom and grab her skirt to go get you one. Those were the days then.

A couple of days ago, I and a friend dropped by Mini Stop just for snacks when we found a whole pack of Yakult on the shelf of the chilled section. We took one just to savor it for the novelty. And damn!@# it still tastes good.. I could still remember one of my siblings drinking it with a poked straw on its top... While reminiscing (~ that's what they call it, when your tiny neurons try to re-enact or make a movie version of your real-life experience in the past inside your brain... inside your brain!) reminiscing memories, at the same time that fruity-like Yakult taste touched my tongue, the six note-melodic tunes of its theme kept playing in the background, coming from the auidiobiotic speakers powered by my sheyttie thoughts. There was even a time way back in college when I was looking for a Yakult ringtone in the days when phones were still monophonic ringers. 

Me and my friend thought... Man, this stuff's good, and it’s been there for ages. Why didn’t they think of packaging it in liters or maybe in 500-ml bottles? SO why6? Why didn’t they... Are there any known side effects of overdosing yourself with Yakult? We asked ourselves... Yakult tastes good, and a lot of folks like it. Is it because of it? healthy or just because of its taste,” we asked ourselves again.

Then it occurred to me what actual benefits we get from drinking this tiny bottle of health bomb. We all do know that it's healthy because of this Lactobacilli Casei strain that some guy named Minuro Shirota discovered. which eventually helps in maintaining the balance of good bacteria and bad ones in our digestion. Ok, we know that's healthy.. but crap!  Lactobacilli casei Shirota is already in our system ..! That's nothing new to a kid who grew up with parents who met and came from the same med school they attended, and my dad occupied some important position back when he was working for the so-called self-proclaimed World Leader in Nutrition, Mead Johnson. Yep! We never ran out of milk—Enfalac, Enfamil, and Enfapro—at home when we were kids. hahaha! @ My Moms a Medical. Tech and took nursing when i was already in high school, just coz he had nothing to do then... But what's bothering me is whether this lactobasilly has to do with its taste or not.?

As Dicey would put it: Mmhhh, Shirota. You imagine a legion of tiny brave samurai Shirota bacteria that patrol through your body and hack into every sick-making microorganism with their cute but deadly katanas. "Now demon, I don't want to see your mitochondria near this colon or, by my honor, I shall smite thee with this cute but deadly polyprotein weapon." hahaha...

So I went online and began looking for answers.. which only sent me to oblivion and disappointment. I went to every website of Yakult in every known country that had managed to put up big Yakult factories. Wow, this company has indeed made it global. God! They even own a baseball team in Japan. But what I was looking for was not quenched. Every info page on every website they have, in every different country, keeps saying the same shit! it’s healthy, drink it! It’s good for you! damn..! ..

But how.? Why? i became more interested in investigating how Dr. Shirota uncovered the strain. I scanned every page that had to do with Yakult.

Stumbling upon Wikipedia’s entry for Yakult, the last line describes it as: Today, Yakult is manufactured and sold in Japan, Asia, Australia, Latin America, and Europe, although its bacteria cultures are still imported from a mother strain in Japan regardless of production location.

And guess what I found next? : The Real Deal.

No wonder it tastes so good... freakin' sh@#! …They have this huge basin-like container in mother Japan where they store human fecal waste to rot. where they could extract the bacteria, which will be used next to culture it. Damn right, it is...

Come to think of it .. We Drink a tiny bottle of processed milk with 6 billion of that idy bity something of Lcs strain packed in it. that came from sh#@! collected from who knows who from the Japanese population. and distributed worldwide! How's That?

Damn Bastard Shirota-San you duped us.. !@#$

Maybe that's the reason why I'm so calcium deficient.

i loved Yakult more than a carton of fresh milk when I was a kid!

No wonder they don’t make Yakult Litro! %^&*#

The Japs did it again! @ .. Bakero!

And yes, Dicey; " Yakult ain't shit.. "

It's Freakin' Made from Shit !@#

Crap ! Casei casei casei ba naman I go get Clusivol nlang, it’s cheaper than Yakult.

"If health is wealth.. I'm Broke ~ !!.

Note: Thanks to Dicey for getting me drunk and giving my investigation a quicker closure haha

some of the references :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakult

http://cdli.asm.org/cgi/content/full/8/3/593#MaterialsMethods

http://www.yakult.com.au/resources/popups/pop_faqs01.htm


:::::::::::::::::: Spam Chat Version ::::::::::::::::::::

Shadow (9/21/2006 4:34:46 PM): Cha u like yakult..?
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:35:35 PM): oo naman!
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:35:36 PM): y?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:36:02 PM): didnt you ever wondered why they dont make Yakult litro?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:36:15 PM): or 500 ml man lang..
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:37:00 PM): yesterday .. pumunta kami rollie mini stop
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:37:07 PM): tas may nakita kaming yakult
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:38:46 PM): out of novelty
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:38:50 PM): bumili kami
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:38:58 PM): remember when we were kids
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:39:40 PM): na these healthy bacteria called lactobacilli really benefits us
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:40:19 PM): yeah?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:40:28 PM): tas sabi ko
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:40:32 PM): pare ansarap no
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:40:56 PM): then i started wondering kung ano talaga yung benefits natin dun
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:05 PM): while in the back of my mind
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:08 PM): the melodic
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:17 PM): yakult tune
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:20 PM): was playing
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:45 PM): so i made a research sa web
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:42:52 PM): pinuntahan ko talaga yung site of the people who invented it
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:43:21 PM): kinonvert ko pa ung iexplorer ko to unencrypt yung japanese Shadow (9/21/2006 4:43:32 PM): para ma basa kung ano nga
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:43:48 PM): wahahahahahaha
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:43:50 PM): ano ka ba
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:43:58 PM): dude
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:44:02 PM): i found no
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:44:08 PM): appropriate benefits
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:44:16 PM): and heres the shitty part
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:44:22 PM): when we were kids
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:44:49 PM): waht tlga
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:45:31 PM): we keep imagining little samurai called lactobacilli shirota keeps fighting bad bacteria in our tummy
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:45:51 PM): but here s what i found in my struggle
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:46:23 PM): http://cdli.asm.org/cgi/content/full/8/3/593#MaterialsMethods
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:46:31 PM): Fuck
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:46:57 PM): e explain mo nlng
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:15 PM): aside from no actual benefits
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:24 PM): their made out of human shit
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:41 PM): in a very big basin in japan
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:46 PM): to get the bacteria
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:47:50 PM): putangina di nga?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:51 PM): needed to be cultured
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:47:52 PM): ano ba
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:48:06 PM): email mo nga yan
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:48:07 PM): hehe
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:48:13 PM): and then put it in the processed milk
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:48:24 PM): fuck you Dr. Shirota
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:48:51 PM): Shirota-San is a piece of crap
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:48:53 PM): kakainis
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:49:50 PM): shet ayko na magbasa
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:49:51 PM): haha
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:50:01 PM): id settle for vitamins nalang
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:50:03 PM): so they get the strain from human intestine?
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:50:04 PM): tamaba?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:50:07 PM): kahit mahal ang clusivol
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:50:14 PM): may benefits
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:50:16 PM): pa
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:10 PM): i cant go screaming to people and keep telling everyone" yakult ain't freakin Shit"
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:14 PM): i bloblog ko to
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:19 PM): putangina nila
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:38 PM): no wonder why they dnt make yakult litro !#$
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:44 PM): grrrr banzai !#@!!!.....
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:51:48 PM): hahahah
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:49 PM): fuckers
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:51:55 PM): gawin mong email form, tas email mo sken
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:51:57 PM): iforward ko
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:51:58 PM): haha
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:52:01 PM): ayoko
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:52:02 PM): iblog ko din
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:52:03 PM): haha
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:52:04 PM): nakokopya ako
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:52:15 PM): ang sarap kaya nun
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:52:59 PM): sige email ko seo
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:53:48 PM): ui kelan na ung karaoke escapade nten!?!
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:54:01 PM): kelan u like..?
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:54:32 PM): san ba mura?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:10 PM): di ko nga alam ehh
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:14 PM):
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:20 PM): e kelan gusto mo kalaoke
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:22 PM): sept 30
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:23 PM): I'm scheduled for d ateneo event
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:24 PM): Kaptid will be playing
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:25 PM): pede nood muna tau
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:26 PM): then karaoke
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:27 PM): heheh
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:28 PM): ok lang
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:29 PM): hehe
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:30 PM): wow kapatid
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:31 PM): try bringing sandi along din.
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:32 PM): oki
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:33 PM): heheh
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:34 PM): hehe
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:35 PM): bsta pag pwede rin sandi
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:36 PM): sandi busy raw eh
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:37 PM): dami chuvalers sa skuul
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:38 PM): hahaha
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:39 PM): tatapusin lang raw nya yung delivery room requirements
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:40 PM): i know..
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:07 PM): ey i gotta an idea
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:27 PM): i email ko kaya seo chat conversation natin about yakult
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:31 PM): para orig an dating
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:33 PM): hhehhahahha
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:41 PM): tapos i spam natin
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:42 PM): hahah
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:57:00 PM): haha sure ba
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:57:01 PM): hahahah

Filler For Now

I discovered the obscure World Wide Web one boring afternoon in the College Library of San Agustin while I was skipping my P.E. class in 1997. My first account on the web was, of course, an email account: shadow@hotmail.com, which eventually expired due to lack of maintenance. I also created an account at AstroAdvice.com in 1998, as there was little interest on the web aside from chatting on mIRC and browsing adult content at the time. I was one of the staff writers, and since our school refused to provide internet access in the publication office, I began searching for a place to write online. Pyra had the answer. My original blog account was enigma.blogspot.com i wrote about something like 23 entries before I got retarded and stopped. It remained dormant for years as I became preoccupied with who knows who and other various distractions.

 After moving to the capital city, I got a job working for the largest computer manufacturer to date and finally had some worthless time again to spend. So i began writing in Livejournal and transferred to Multiply .. where i became one of its first users. My earliest blog dates to from August of 2004, when Multiply was just making its way after being launched 8 months before. I stopped blogging in July 2005 and kept receiving insult and hate emails and spam with no bread shit hahaha and notifications asking when I would resume blogging. Since then, I have not had the time to look for the blog fillers I had written for months to fill the gap in my Multiply account, as they were stored on my iPod Video, which was completely formatted when a friend used it to transport files to the U.S. and back.

Too bad. After resigning from my previous company and dealing with numerous social and pseudo-personal affairs, I found myself with nothing interesting to do in one boring afternoon. I googled my real name, and to my surprise, I found a search result linking to a friend's blog site, where they thanked me for photo credits. After having shadowed my real name, insulted people online, and disrupted the sales and marketing efforts of several companies and brands, my real name popped up from a Blogspot account. It suddenly occurred to me that I might have a Blogger account, and I was pretty sure of it. I tried every email account I had, and to my surprise, it worked.

Since then, I have only used one password for all my online accounts, and it was fail-safe. Much to my astonishment, my account was still there. However, upon logging in, I discovered that my original URL name had been altered due to Blogger's policy, and I would need to rename it. The Multiply blogs were FTPed to this site and will soon be constantly updated. And this is where you are now. ~ Chairs!  tables and party hats

Disclaimer Ver.2

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