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Saturday, January 29, 2005

dear journal... Dec 27 - Jan 30

I finally moved up to the Fifth floor
still adjusting to the tiring ladder
I would have to hop about 300 steps up
just to get to my unit.

Mom got to a flight for the southern city
during the time i was transferring
she had to accompany my gandma and
our Evil Aunt from Europe ..
another close relative of ours died.

just last weekend was spent with friends
nightswimming in some private pool
a place called Pansol Laguna..
Too much for Me and Mia's secret world.

By the time i got home,
a guy was playing a guitar sitting
on my bench straight outside my door.
Just discovered my next door neighbor
to be a musician for a band,
just like me before..
to my surprise we did also share
the same influences and taste of artists
which he never had with his bandmates
so we drank the whole night playing
Smashing Pumpkins and old Duncan Sheik songs
hope Fab was here...

I like my job
when most of my officemates are sick of it
some even have quiet talks of resigning
and moving to another office with a higher pay
I'm probably the most dedicated person
in my department as far as Im aware of..
but still do keep very low profile..
avoiding attention..

even when commended by customers calling in
personally requesting for a supervisor
I still refuse and told them nobody is still around..
when most people are dying for these sort of things
to get them promoted ... would be quite a break
But i know myself better...
and have my own standards in judging myself..
helping out people who doesnt know shit,
is already rewarding enough..

I go in the office everyday ..
acting just like another average employee
saying hi and hello to this and that,
without my officemates not even knowing
the other side my life is fancy for me..
they just know me as their regular officemate,
i guess ... thats all they need to know ...
i dont even know if some officemates of mine
knew i have these multipy logs...
well i guess ill just keep it that way..

Just before the break of the year
I called almost all of my friends,
just to greet and check if they're ok.
They were.. I think..

I finally had a talk with Ross,
that for most of the time her phone's off
I'm really happy for her..
for discovering the joys
of being in a relationship.
Go Ross...

it has also been a long time
i havent had a talk with Grace
ever since we left the Condo Unit
we used to live in along with 3 others.
And i wonder what happend to Christine
after the FHM offer to pose half naked
i guess she got rich that's why she left us.
Me and Grace managing the bills for our apartment
was an outpour.. With us Out being Poor.

i remember the time when all of us went
to Tagaytay just to breeze from our daily
stressful jobs..
going out on the country and melting ourselves
with scenic views and horseback riding at night.
that was hell of a time..
though having to work in different workplaces
and schedules, we still did manage to put up
house parties even with the stiffest budget.
I miss living with Grace, hope she's Ok.

Sharing a nicely furnished pad with 3 girls
having to have your own room as the girls were
sharing the big one, was fun ..
it was not until Ron moved in that i had
somebody to drink along with...

most of the time in the old pad
i would sit alone in a small ladder and watch
the window acrross the blinds
drinking and listening to tunes like this.
Ron would sometimes wake up to go to the bathroom
at dead midnight and catches me at those moments
and he would sometimes ask who i am waiting for..
i would just smile.. coz i really dont know..

who or what but i feel it...

I'm sometimes bothered with my purpose ..

or is it just an echo from the far recesses

of my mind ..

i really dont know but i have an idea..

someday could always wait...

Someday ...