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Friday, September 22, 2006

Yakulturization 101

Back in the days when its either the magnolia guy that you're waiting for to pass by outside your house on a weekend or the yakult lady dressed up with blue cap and dragging the stroller filled with yakult packs in 5 that you would run to your mom and grab her skirt to go get you one. Those were the days then.

A couple of days ago me and my friend dropped by at mini stop just for snacks when we found a whole pack of Yakult on the shelve of the chilled section. We took one just savor it out of novelty. And Damn !@# it still does taste real good.. i could still remember one my sibling drinking it with a poked straw on its top.. while reminiscing the memories at the same time that yakult taste touches my tongue the 6 note melodic tune of its theme keeps playing background of my auidiobiotic thoughts. there was even a time way back in college that i was looking for a yakult ring tone in the days when phones were still monophonic ringers.

Me and my friend thought .. man, this stuff's good and it has been there for ages . Why didnt they thought of packaging it in litres or maybe in 500ml bottles. We thought why didnt they .. is there any known side effect of overdosing yourself with yakult..? we asked ourselves... yakult tastes really good and a lot of folks like it .. is it because its healthy or just because of its taste..? we asked ourselves again.

Then it occurred to me on what actual benefits we get in drinking this tiny bottle of health bomb.. We all do know that its healthy coz of this Lactobacilli Casei strain that some guy named Minuro Shirota discovered . which eventually helps in maintaining the balance of good bacteria and bad ones in our digestion. Ok we know that's healthy.. but crap ! lactobacilli casei shirota is already in our system ..! That's nothing new to a kid who grew up with medically inclined parents.. My dad took pre med school and worked as an area manager for MJ.. yah..we had endless stock of Enfalac,Enfamil and Enfapro at home when we were kids.. hahaha!@ My Moms a Medical. Tech and took nursing when i was already high school just coz he has nothing to do then.. but what's bothering me is why this lactobasilly has to do with its taste or not..?

as dicey would put it: Mmhhh Shirota. You imagine a legion of tiny brave samurai Shirota bacteria that patrol through your body and hack into every sick-making microorganism with their cute but deadly kitanas. "Now demon, I don't want to see your mitochondria near this colon or, by my honour, I shall smite thee with this cute but deadly polyprotein weapon." hahaha...

So i got online and began looking for answers.. which only sent me to oblivion and disappointment .. i went to every website of yakult in every known country who had managed to put up big yakult factories. Wow this company has indeed made it global. God !@ they even own a baseball team in Japan.

But what i was looking for was not quenched. Every info page in every website they have, in every different country keeps saying the same shit..!@ its healthy, drink it ! its good for you ! . damn..!..

But how.? Why? i became more interested in investigating how Dr. Shirota uncovered the strain.. i scrammed every page that has to do with Yakult ..

Stumbling upon wikipedia's entry for yakult the last line describes as : Today, Yakult is manufactured and sold in Japan, Asia, Australia, Latin America, and Europe, although its bacteria cultures are still imported from a mother strain in Japan regardless of production location.

and Guess what i found next.: The Real Deal .

No wonder it taste so good... freakin' sh@#! ..They have this huge basin like container in mother Japan that they store Human Fecal waste to rot. where they could extract the bacteria which will be used next to culture it. Damn right it is...

Come to think of it .. We Drink a tiny bottle of processed milk with 6bilion of that idy bity something of Lcs strain packed in it. that actually came from sh#@! collected from who knows who from the Japanese population. and distributed worldwide ! How's That ?

Damn Bastard Shirota-San you duped us.. !@#$
Maybe that's the reason why I'm so calcium deficient
i loved yakult more than a carton fresh milk when i was a kid..!
No wonder why they dont make Yakult Litro !@#
The Japs did it again !@ .. Bakero!

And Yes Dicey ; " Yakult ain't shit.. "

It's Freakin' Made from Shit !@#

Crap ! Me go get clusivol nlang, its cheaper than Yakult..

" if health is wealth.. I'm Broke ~ !!.

Note : Thanks to Dicey for making my investigation a little lot faster.

some of the references :

:::::::::::::::::: Spam Chat Version ::::::::::::::::::::

Shadow (9/21/2006 4:34:46 PM): Cha u like yakult..?
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:35:35 PM): oo naman!
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:35:36 PM): y?

Shadow (9/21/2006 4:36:02 PM): didnt you ever wondered why they dont make Yakult litro?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:36:15 PM): or 500 ml man lang..
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:37:00 PM): yesterday .. pumunta kami rollie mini stop
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:37:07 PM): tas may nakita kaming yakult
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:38:46 PM): out of novelty
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:38:50 PM): bumili kami
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:38:58 PM): remember when we were kids
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:39:40 PM): na these healthy bacteria called lactobacilli really benefits us
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:40:19 PM): yeah?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:40:28 PM): tas sabi ko
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:40:32 PM): pare ansarap no
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:40:56 PM): then i started wondering kung ano talaga yung benefits natin dun
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:05 PM): while in the back of my mind
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:08 PM): the melodic
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:17 PM): yakult tune
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:20 PM): was playing
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:41:45 PM): so i made a research sa web
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:42:52 PM): pinuntahan ko talaga yung site of the people who invented it
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:43:21 PM): kinonvert ko pa ung iexplorer ko to unencrypt yung japanese Shadow (9/21/2006 4:43:32 PM): para ma basa kung ano nga
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:43:48 PM): wahahahahahaha
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:43:50 PM): ano ka ba

Shadow (9/21/2006 4:43:58 PM): dude
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:44:02 PM): i found no
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:44:08 PM): appropriate benefits
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:44:16 PM): and heres the shitty part
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:44:22 PM): when we were kids

Charlene (9/21/2006 4:44:49 PM): waht tlga
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:45:31 PM): we keep imagining little samurai called lactobacilli shirota keeps fighting bad bacteria in our tummy
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:45:51 PM): but here s what i found in my struggle
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:46:23 PM):
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:46:31 PM): Fuck

Charlene (9/21/2006 4:46:57 PM): e explain mo nlng
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:15 PM): aside from no actual benefits
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:24 PM): their made out of human shit
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:41 PM): in a very big basin in japan
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:46 PM): to get the bacteria
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:47:50 PM): putangina di nga?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:47:51 PM): needed to be cultured
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:47:52 PM): ano ba
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:48:06 PM): email mo nga yan
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:48:07 PM): hehe

Shadow (9/21/2006 4:48:13 PM): and then put it in the processed milk
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:48:24 PM): fuck you Dr. Shirota
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:48:51 PM): Shirota-San is a piece of crap
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:48:53 PM): kakainis
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:49:50 PM): shet ayko na magbasa
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:49:51 PM): haha
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:50:01 PM): id settle for vitamins nalang
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:50:03 PM): so they get the strain from human intestine?
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:50:04 PM): tamaba?

Shadow (9/21/2006 4:50:07 PM): kahit mahal ang clusivol
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:50:14 PM): may benefits
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:50:16 PM): pa
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:10 PM): i cant go screaming to people and keep telling everyone" yakult ain't freakin Shit"
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:14 PM): i bloblog ko to
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:19 PM): putangina nila
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:38 PM): no wonder why they dnt make yakult litro !#$
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:44 PM): grrrr banzai !#@!!!.....
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:51:48 PM): hahahah
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:51:49 PM): fuckers
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:51:55 PM): gawin mong email form, tas email mo sken
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:51:57 PM): iforward ko
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:51:58 PM): haha
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:52:01 PM): ayoko
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:52:02 PM): iblog ko din
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:52:03 PM): haha

Shadow (9/21/2006 4:52:04 PM): nakokopya ako
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:52:15 PM): ang sarap kaya nun
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:52:59 PM): sige email ko seo
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:53:48 PM): ui kelan na ung karaoke escapade nten!?!
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:54:01 PM): kelan u like..?
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:54:32 PM): san ba mura?
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:10 PM): di ko nga alam ehh
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:14 PM):
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:20 PM): e kelan gusto mo kalaoke
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:22 PM): sept 30
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:23 PM): I'm scheduled for d ateneo event
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:24 PM): Kaptid will be playing
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:25 PM): pede nood muna tau
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:26 PM): then karaoke
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:27 PM): heheh
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:28 PM): ok lang
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:29 PM): hehe
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:30 PM): wow kapatid
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:31 PM): try bringing sandi along din.

Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:32 PM): oki
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:33 PM): heheh
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:34 PM): hehe
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:35 PM): bsta pag pwede rin sandi

Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:36 PM): sandi busy raw eh
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:37 PM): dami chuvalers sa skuul
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:38 PM): hahaha
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:55:39 PM): tatapusin lang raw nya yung delivery room requirements

Charlene (9/21/2006 4:55:40 PM): i know..
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:07 PM): ey i gotta an idea
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:27 PM): i email ko kaya seo chat conversation natin about yakult
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:31 PM): para orig an dating
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:33 PM): hhehhahahha
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:41 PM): tapos i spam natin
Shadow (9/21/2006 4:56:42 PM): hahah
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:57:00 PM): haha sure ba
Charlene (9/21/2006 4:57:01 PM): hahahah