dear journal... Oct 10 - Oct 23

Superman died last 2 sundays ago
the only superhero who had to disguise
himself to be just like us..ordinary
which most of us is likely not
convinced to be... anyway ..

a friend once asked what super power
i would choose to have, if given..
i replied, what if i chose one that
i dont wanna have...
would you still ask.. said yes
i replied.. foresight.
i`ve always considered it a curse..
coz.. it`ll give you either advantage..
and missed what the opposite
may have offered..
both ways .. drawbacks jack on.

it may even send you afloat thinking
of the muliple possibilities..
and resolve not to do anything about it.
but nothing beats conscience..
especially when it involves the
most powerful universal feeling.
this tool, be it a gift or a curse
will always go hand in hand with karma
or as i call it balance...
my true religion..

i spent most of the time
in the apartment sleeping
and leave just in time for work
my laundry is already looking like a hill
what dwarfs may call as a home...
visitors spend more time at the apartment
than i do ...
with my brother now staying around
proxy entertainer...

eating lunch and dinner someplace
and somewhere everyday..
sitting and standing .. whatever
jollibee makes good meat pies.
cant wait for Taco Bell to open


Working for the World`s
number one Computer Corporation
is like mayonaise on ice cream.
your eating it but still figuring out
why it tasted that way....
i couldnt even imagine anymore
how i ended up with this job

went to college and took up
courses too far from what im doin now
figuring out computer architecture
and sorting out sasser...
with credentials for medical arts
and political history..
not even having a valid computer degree
the only expertise i could claim
would probably the MS-DOS and Lotus wiz
that i think i am... applications
already considered to be obsolete.
being one of the 60,000 employees?
just pure luck maybe..

from a company that ships out
100,000 computers a day to end users
with 10 % chance of something may
have gone wrong in the manufacturing.

no point of doin the math..
when you damn know human error
never came as a blessing...

Debra Stunton was amusing
her perspective was quite Unamerican
after the meeting i asked her
a question i know she would never answer
the way i wanted it heard..
to hell with company policy.
as long as youre`doin your job right.

a long way from texas....

last Christmas and New year
i spent it in the office
i lost in the lot drawing..

i spent it watching firecrackers
blew up from the building window
staring at the window view
with Kentucky fried Chicken plate
on my hand which i didnt eat...

i dont even have a lovelife anymore
like most people do..
more of derranged social life..
accompanied with strange friends
and unpredictable circumstances..

but ya... there is this girl.

years have passed since i last saw her
i didnt have much news about her nemore
maybe i just dont wanna know anymore
or do i ?
i could spend eternity deciding
and end up spending everyday.... .. a day

dear journal... Oct 3 - Oct 10

Saturday was cold...
The Japanese Films were impressive
i noticed most Japanese films
pour to the idea of pain and losing
the two films i watched were...

I woke up wednesday morning
to wash my face..
no water was coming out ..
I forgot to pay the water bills
and they cut the water off
i thought...

Thursday and im still in a loop
still bothered by the thought
of me being transferred to Microsoft
Im not really a fan of Bill Gates
i even hate the guy..
i despise noothoots like him..
and im not quite even sure
if im` still enjoying my present Job
in this Computer company
that supports his software products..

if ever im gonna be transferred
and be another servant of technology
under the Gates` empire flag
i would be probably in the
Service Pack 3 for XP campaign
writting its special feature....
System Destroy


Friday.. Tito celebrated his birthday
with an Open Bar all night
in Ponticello Makati
He should...

Who wouldnt wanna celebrate..
if your as lucky as he is...
being an heir to their Family`s fortune
that i think two lifetimes
wouldnt be enough for it to runout..
Tito is well-mannered guy..
and never misses a mass each Sunday
you would seldom find him sitting alone in
St. Clement`s Chapel.. without the bodyguards
he always used to have even in highschool days
back in Angelicum..

I never saw his sister Celine`s
Newspaper column anymore
last news was...
she was lookin` for a fashion writer..
and the next thing you know she`ss on the
Pepsi Billboard posted wide on the Mall wall
I wonder what Celine is busy with these days...

One thing I know about the Lopez`s
is that, they know well how to take care
of iT ...previlege or mere fate...
good management acumen..

Havent heard from Kat for a month now
I wish she was doin ok in Thailand
she told me she is teaching
in a University in Bangkok..
the last time we got together
was months ago
i couldnt even remember what month
was it anymore..
i was so suprised when i recieved
a message on a friendster account
i made with my real name on it..
though i only open it once in a square moon.

after 10 years we havent seen each other
and then she popped..
we met and went to watch a movie
got the California Pizza
and went to the old pad..
and catching up from the past
just reminded me how long was it
since i saw anyone of them..
i told her about how i found Steve
thru friendster..

Steve is now managing
his own Bar now in London
one of the places i dreamed of living in
15 years had passed after Steve had
become an established Londoner
being our class Valedectorian was quite
easy for him ...
i sure do miss the guys

missing someone can sometimes be a blur
even in the clearest day of the week
i wonder how she is doing...

for the past week
i have consumed around
15 litres of Mountain Dew
a total of 6 Siopaos
3 Tall Cups of cappucino from StarBucks
and one Bacon Cheeseburger from Wendy`s
and the rest were unaudited..

and no...
i dont wanna talk about the
eathquake stuff anymore
i was drinking and the bottle spilled
i was about to throw up..
thats all...


and as what a dumb terrorist would say..
Life is Bum ! booomm!!!
duh...
hahahaha

writting wouldnt be a bad idea...
only that you dont know where to mail it to


i thought so....

dear journal... Sept 26 - Oct 3

Kris Q woke me up one Tuesday morning
when i was still enjoying my sleep
said he got news for me..
well it turned out it was news yeah.
much for his welfare again..

He said he landed the Job he was
fishing out for months now
He`s gonna work in the U.S.
i just dunno what state...

now after breaking in to
my apartment bedroom with that news
i had coffee.. i told him about
my upstairs neighbor and i dunno what
got into him.. he began dialing his cellphone

then suddenly, he told me that.....
i had to pretend today that its my birthday.
he called up and invited these girls
that just arrived fresh from Japan..
probably a bad idea that i told him
about my neighbors.....

Ronwell also came by...
Kris also called him up for this shit.
Ronwell is one horny guy
never a day that i hanged out with him
that he never talked about sex and other
horny stuff... Kris had to go pick up the girls
from a nearby train terminal from the apartment

me and Ronwell had to get 3 cases of lite beer
while awaiting the creep..
Ron and i began drinkin as expected...
he told me about this little island
in Spain where he had gone to...
a place called Las Palmas de Tenerife..
where people did nothing
but party party have sex and party...
and of course the Nude beach where he went..

Now comes Kris after an hour with two girls
3-time Japan Jetsetters..
of course what would you expect
on how they would be dressed up...
had a drink .. chit chat and shit
when nightfall came the other girl was
already acting up.. you know .. asking for consolation
guys should know the next move..
and as usual Ron was quick to react hahahha

Kris said they would be leaving by 10pm
i went resting in my bedroom and passed out

morning comes
and shit i wasnt able to go work yesterday
coz of Kris...
i went to gargle in the kitchen sink..
i heard people talking in low voices
much to my surprise ...
Ron and Kris with the 2 chicks were at the guest room

fuckers...


i cooked them breakfast
one of the girls asked me for a favor
she was looking for her long lost boyfriend
some japanese guy named Hideyoshi..
so i said OK ill see what i can do..
said she`ll pay anything for that information
hahahhaha ... i wonder where i could get the
employee list of the car company where
that guy was workin...
but hey.. internet just made things easier huh.

The next day i recieved news from a friend
Ivy my friend from the backdoor city
just got shot....
seldom you would hear girls getting shot.
i called her and asked who shot her..
some bubot guy she said..
she`ss still in the hospital when i called
it has been 3 years that we havent seen one another
but yet the miracle of communication blenders
after my call she told me she would change nos#
no news after that...
girls who grew up in New York are really nuts
hope she`ll get well soon ..


Meralco avenue was packed friday night
and the beer was installed in a Bulb-like shaped aparatii..
but i guess i just had too much..
i decided to go to the office and stay there
for the rest of the morning wee hours
staring in front of the monitor drunk
i know October had always been good to me...
i wonder what adventure awaits this idiot
the next couple of weeks...

but for the moment...

shift back i guess..
back to the bizzare theme park we called ..Life